Im 17 years old, and both my parents are alcoholics. It has only been within the last 3-4 years ive finally been able to understand why they have been acting the way they do. Throughout my whole childhood i grew up with my parents drinking, arguing and me getting caught up in the middle of the whole disaster.
My dad used to be a stock broker roughly 10 years ago, and in the middle of that whole scene, he started using serious drugs (not sure of the specifics). In 2006 he was unemployed for 2 years, and when i asked my mom, she would only tell me that he was not doing his job right (as the appropriate parent answer). My dad managed to get a job in 2008 which he was only able to hold for about 8 months, until he lost that job, and has been unemployed ever since. With all of his free time, he has tried to spend more time with me and my 13 year old brother. I feel as if he only does this to keep the rest of my family mad at him for being drunk almost every night. My dad has also been addicted to cigarettes all his life, making it nearly impossible to quit anything else he tries. Within the last year he has had many doctor appointments, and only recently i found out that he has a bad liver due to his drinking, and will die soon if this habit continues. Only a month ago, a close friend of mine lost his father to the same situation, and ever sice my dad found out, he has been barley drinking at all.
My mom on the other hand, is a successful Director of Research for a large company, this is the only source of income for my family. Every day as soon as she gets home from work, the first thing she does is start mixing up a drink for herself as she prepares dinner. After dinner she loads up on wine and starts to argue about my dads unemployment, his drinking and smoking habits etc.. Almost anything i say, my mom takes it in a negative way and starts an argument with the whole family. Many times me and my bother will find her passed out on her bed or on the couch with the TV still on, and when my brother asks my dad whats wrong he simply says “shes tired and may have had a bit too much wine”. I know that she lost both of her parents when i was only 2, both due to an alcohol related situation.
Since i was 14, i started smoking pot more as a recreational time to relax. Now 3 years later i have been using it to cope with my family issues, and only been getting more high then ever in the past. You can call me a “Pothead” if you want, but truthfully i would like to stop smoking, and not have to use drugs as something to put up with my parents, but it only seems to be the only less harmless choice if i want my family to stay together. This morning for example, my whole family got up early to go to church (we are Catholic). And my mom tried to rush making breakfast hung over as usual, and completely ruined it all due to her rushing. I said i would pass on breakfast today, but thanks for the effort. As soon as i said this, she started to argue about how i don’t appreciate her efforts, i should pack my bags any leave because im a failure compared to her and so on… As i was walking away because i was not going to deal with this, she threw her Birkenstock slipper at my head. I picked it up and threw it across the street and refused to put up with how she was acting any more. This time my dad was on my side because he also saw her faults. My mom refused to go to church if i was to come too, so my dad recommended i stay at home. Right after that happened, i thought i would type this up, in hope that somebody can help me through this so i can start living a normal life in a more natural way besides drugs. If you have ever experienced anything similar, i would really appreciate any help with what i should do in terms of coping with this, thanks for your time.
Tags: alcoholics, help, parents, them
get the beers in for them
I was an alcoholic – you will have heard it many times they can only help themselves. Simply suggest they need a detox. This is way too much for you to cope with, imo.
Talk to your dad about it all, away from your mum, say its not fair in you or your little brother to be brought into all that sh*t.
Look for an Al/ATEEN chapter.
set an example for them, the chose to go down this path and it’s your job to show them its the wrong one. Telling them that you and the rest of your family are uncomfortable with their ways is another option. Sit them down and have a mature talk tothem about it and the damage they are doing
Hey bro. I feel sorry about you. Having both parents as alcohol addicts is difficult to manage. I can understand completely.
Well. Let me go with small suggestions instead of talking more crap.
My dad is a alcoholic too. He comes in night after work, drunk. That pisses off my mother. I didn’t know when I was kid(at least till 15-16yrs). But to be honest he wasn’t VERY rude and problem maker. But It used to affect our family.
When I grew up, i. e. , after graduation, I was more rude to him in nights. (My age was 18-19). I used to completely disagree with whatever he says. It made me feel good somehow. He gets pissed off and then stop talking to me for few days. But my mom is not a fighter-type. So she used to manage somehow. But indirectly mom used to talk about his addicts. My dad got disrespected. Even now he boozes, but cannot help. It’s left to them. But things are very much in-tact.
I think that is your suggestion from me.
Try being more independent, and do answer them back. Try to be rude, at the same time don’t loose your temper. Stay calm after sometime.
Pray god whenever you go to church about his addictive issues. I am sure things gets better once you get older. Stay calm. Also try not to talk to them very much as you do now. Try to ignore them. They’ll understand this and will surely be normal.
Hang-out with friends and share things. They always will have their opinions and suggestions which will help you.
All the best.
There is a show called Intervention that can and will help. . You also need to get yourself to alanon or alateen. . Good luck
You can’t help them. But you can help yourself.
Talk to your school guidance counselor. They can direct you to the local AlaTeen program. There you will find other young people going through the same thing and they can help you to find ways to not let your parents addictions ruin your life.
If you don’t want to talk to your counselor here’s the link to the AlaTeen web site.
http://www. al-anon. alateen. org/meetings/meeting. html
You can survive this you just have to want to.