I know this sounds horrible, but I am so curious as to why in the world those parents with children with special needs seem to neglect a kids fashion sense? Bad haircuts, bad clothing. I noted a family portrait with a family at a wedding. One of the siblings had downs, they had her dressed in a tent of a dress, a bowl haircut and birkenstock style shoes. It’ looked bad. I felt sad for her, but unfortunately this isn’t the only time I see parents neglect their kids.
It’s almost like saying my kid is special, lets make them look that way.
I appreciate your honest answers. I honestly could not figure this out. However, your answers do make sense to me. I was completely ignorant to the needs of the kids regarding textures etc . It does honestly make good sense!
Because the kid wont care what they are wearing, probably wont even notice it, so it’s just easier to dress them in a comfortable way.
It is sad to hear that, the child should never have been that stand out. However as a parent of a special needs child I feel the need to help answer this. Depending on the disability some kids have a texture and sensory issue and many different types of fabric bother them. others have difficulty with buttons and fasteners. sure you say well button it for them but that’s not teaching them to be independent and unfortunately clothing that is “fashionable” is not always the easiest or most reasonable for an independent special needs child. when it comes to grooming many have boundary issues and wont left people get close to them and change is another factor, change of anything can cause a set back in the progress you have made.
Parents of disabled kids do NOT insist their child look like a fashion don”t. Most of these children have sensory problems and simply cannot tolerate certain textures. It is often the child him/herself who chooses the clothing, and throws the mother of all tantrums if said parent tries to get them to wear something else. Raising disabled children is exhausting, and parents must “pick their battles”, so to speak. As for the bowl haircut, perhaps she cut on her own hair and that was her only option. All kids chop their hair. Neglect? Hardly, dear. My child has more therapists than I can count. she is always supervised where ever she is. Personally, my 11 yr old daughter has Asperger’s Syndrome, and if she wants to wear a blue striped skirt with a pink hello kitty sweatshirt, fine. Just don’t miss the school bus, and brush your hair.
Christie and Sheila are correct, and I will add this in to the mix:
My daughter is special needs. Trying to find clothing for her that doesn’t make her look like a dork is very difficult indeed. She can’t maneuver snaps, buttons or zippers very well on her own clothes. She needs to wear trousers that have elastic waistbands, and there just aren’t that many out there, neither are they stylish. Clothing designers don’t take into account the needs of special needs children, which is why it’s so difficult to find pretty clothes for them.
Note to “Me”: It’s very rude to suggest a special needs child doesn’t notice and won’t care. Special needs kids aren’t stupid. My daughter definitely has her favorite color, her favorite styles, and definitely likes to look pretty. And I find this is true for most special needs children, not just a few.
You are making a sweeping generalisation based on a very limited observation! In my experience the majority of parents who are caring for a child with a disability or specific needs work very hard to ensure that their children are included, and part of that relates to how they dress. They also need to consider their child’s ability to “manage” clothing, taking into account things like the feel, sound, smell of materials, and also fastenings, laces and so on. Add to this the fact that raising a disabled child is often more expensive, time consuming and stressful than it is with a non-disabled child, and you will see that the issue is not a simple one.
In some cases this is true. I am a mom of a very stylish autistic 3yr old who is sensory. I within his needs find the time to keep him from standing out too much. I however do get that some of the kids are allergic to certain fabrics or their sensory issues wont allow mom to dress them in the fashion we want. I can just speak for myself. I always have made it a point to keep my son from standing out as special needs. I am sure we special ed kids mommies work with what we have. Special needs is exactly that. I do get what you are saying and it is not mean.
sometimes you have to make the child feel comfortable. they aren’t trying to make them look disabled. they Just give in sometimes to prevent a tantrum
Many of my clients parents make sure their child “looks” normal as possible. As number of people have pointed out, many children with disabilities can have sensory problems to sound, touch and smell, and some children insist they wear the same dress, pants, shirt, shoes etc in a particular colour or fabric, because of sensory issues.
One of my clients, two down syndrome twins, are always dressed immaculately, these young men wear suits, at special functions, such as weddings & church, to school school uniform, and other social settings brand name clothing. Their hair and personal hygiene is equally immaculate.
One of my other clients is a young woman with Cerebral palsy and she loves fashion shopping, her mother buys the latest fashion, and if I or other carers take the young woman shopping she will choose her clothes, (some times not what mum likes), but her mother knows that it was her daughters choice. Her personal hygiene is immaculate too, shower morning and night, and her hair is always done in a fashionable cut, and I have even dyed her her with mums permission.
Another client has severe intellectual problems, only likes the feel so certain fabrics, which can be difficult to find at times, so his mother makes a lot of his clothes, and he too is always dressed nicely, but he HATES his hair being cut, so it done as quickly as possible, hopefully in a reasonable cut, but he loves his bath time.
There certianly a few parents who may not be so good at ensuring their child is not so well dressed etc, but that can because of a number of problems, the child’s unwillingness to co-operate and or due to sensory issues, size of the child etc, and occasionally straight out neglect from the parents/carers.
A friends daughter has a teenager with Down syndrome who is unfortunately not always dressed so nicely, mostly because of her size. Her personal hygiene is some times neglected too (not enough supervision), I know this because she pretends to have a shower, and I have caught her many times, so make her have a shower with me standing their and instructing her, I then made sure she puts on clean clothing, and made sure her hair was brushed into a nice style, otherwise she’d just pull on dirty clothes, (usually its a favourite dress, nickers and bra), and she wont brush her hair, she’d then get upset because people would shun her. If she had regular supervision her personal hygiene would not be an issue, obviously the father is limited to what he can do, and he does not see his daughter that often, due to his ex wife always at work, and limiting his access. So when ever I am able to I will take her under my wing and pamper her, which she loves, having her hair, skin and nails etc being done, I always encourage her to take off her dirty clothes at night and if she really wants to wear the same clothes the next day I will launder them and dry them for her, before the morning, I also use the house rule, no shower means no breakfast or dinner, not surprisingly she is in the shower very quickly.
So you can see there is many reasons why some children with a disability may not look as neat and tidy as their peers.